Putting on a really strut-y song and then pretending that you are walking down the street in the music video. Nothing too nuts. Keeping the beat. Maybe singing a bit. Light dance moves. Maybe a spin. It’s such a silly but oddly powerful thing. Just kicking down the street with a secret purpose. Having a moment. (Listening to Shad’s ‘A Milli Vanilli’)
For the last month I’ve been maxing out at 5/5.5 hours of sleep a night. If I go to bed at 10 I’m up by 4. If I go to bed a 4 I’m up at 8. When I’ve stayed up til the sun is coming up I’ve slept for an hour and then the next night instead of sleeping I just stay up all night again. I’m waiting for my body to give in and just crash for 2 or 3 days which I think is inevitable but I hope I don’t end up sick.
All of this extra time has been really great for processing thoughts and getting projects going. During a conversation with a friend about how I’m handling all of the weird shit in my life I told her I was in “hyper processing mode” and that weeks were feeling like months. Things are strange. I miss sleep. I hope it comes back soon but for now I’m just gonna keep riding this weird wave and see where I land.
The neighborhood is cloudy with smoke. I’m going away for a three days and when I get back my house will be a completely different place. The smoke is and isn’t a metaphor. Life is weird. Full of positive and strange things. This time next month who knows what I’ll be. The person I was 8 years ago is cellularly long gone.
Tottenham 4-0 QPR [BPL] 24/08/2014
Eric Dier 30’ (Assist: Erik Lamela)
Don’t decide to stare into the void while lonely grocery shopping. Don’t put on a track wreck of a song and then sink into it. You’re in public and no one at stop and shop needs to see you anxious cry in front of the health food freezer section.
It was funny when I was a kid, but now it’s real.
it was real then too, my friend.
Been real always. This is a strange fucking world.
(Ps think about the things we’ve learn from The Fresh Prince. Kind of wild.)